I am EMO
so what??
do I look like I care?
NO

IMEEM rocks

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Malia
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It has been three long months and a whole load of shit has undergone during these 3 long months. My buddy Sam seems to be out of contact, he has not been answering my phone calls! Its feels as if he has thrown me out of his circle of friends, cos he may feel the same likewise! Oh wells, life still must go on!

Kannan has signed on in the army and i wish him all the best in his career choice! We are getting to know one another better and better through our regular meet ups during the weekends when he is able to book out. I wanna wish him all the best with his new found eye candy Melanie! Hope he wins her heart and keeps her dear to him!

As for Abel, times have been going bad for the both of us. We are always the 2 losing parties at every Mahjong game to the point where we both are a little petrified when it comes to Mahjong. As Abel likes to say it " I can do it, cos i can afford it." Well, i sense another Mahjong game coming up soon with several kahkis!

The BIG THREE! The above three names mentioned in the first 3 paragraphs mean something to me. Well, if you haven't already know, they are the BIG 3 people in my life whom i am close to. Well, i am trying my best but everyone has a different life to lead and i cannot possibly be living three separate lives. So i try to spend time with everyone!

Moving on...my relationship with Banana is seemingly growing and growing. There is feeling inside me, a longing feeling and a desire for her on some days when i am not able to meet up with her in sch, or even after sch! Well, do you call that LOVE? I doubt so, cos i tend to tell myself if that is love, then i must indeed learn how to control the emotion and feeling. Our 1 year anniversary is approaching fast, and i am supposed to cook breakfast for her, but, sadly, i just found out that she has a test on the same day i was gonna cook for her breakfast and its at 12noon, which leaves me till 10am to serve breakfast. I don't know how early i would have to be there to cook man!

Mom has been a pain in my ass! Just exchanged blows with her! She can't even come to her senses for once and not shout or raise her voice! My account is already frozen and she still does not wanna raise my allowances. Plus with all the raise with the government transport fares, its even gonna be harder to survive on the bare minimum of peanuts which i am given! Given this situation, i took it upon myself to work during the semester to earn some extra cash, so as to stabilize my situation...BUT NO!!!! MOM won't allow me to work! She nags like a chatterbox, and when i mean like a chatterbox, i am referring to hours and sometimes days! (depending on the situation and the climax she can reach) I honestly that there be a raise in my allowance to just allow me to eat, drink, and travel around Singapore comfortable. ARGHHH!!!!!!

Anyways, i am kinda stressed out now! Being an important person is not good at times. You are normally offered or thrown difficult situations to handle. I just hope that i am able to live through this year comfortably without any losses in life.

PAUSE- A FLYING COCKROACH JUST FLEW INTO MY ROOM! I AM GONNA HUNT IT DOWN TILL IT BLEEDS AND DIE!!

BACK! I managed to chase the bugger out through my window. Friends at sch are sociable. I would like to think so because i haven't been in a conflict this year. There are a few within my course whom share the same views on several distinguish stars in my course. I know that its bad to talk about other people, but i think that these STARS would fall flat on their faces due to their pride and their political shit! Well, i would like to be close to several people in my course but am finding it difficult to take the first step....OOOOOHHHHHHHH Congrats to Teck Wee and Sze Yinn! They are finally together, and its been for several months already! They look pretty steady and i hope they would last long too!

Alrights, my fingers are numb already and the medication is finally kicking into my blood vessels! KNOCKINNZ OUT NOW!!!!

-monkey-
REACH OUT TO JESUS

Is your burden heavy, as you bear it all alone?
Does the road you travel, harbour danger yet unknown?
Are you growing weary, in the struggle of it all?
Jesus will help you when on His Name you call

He is always there hearing every prayer,
faithful and true.
Walking by His side, in His love we hide,
All the day through.
When you get discouraged, just remember what to do,
REACH OUT TO JESUS, HE'S REACHING OUT TO YOU.

Is the life you're living, filled with sorrow and despair?
Does the future press you, with it's worry and it's care?
Are you tired and friendless, have you almost lost your way?
Jesus will help you, just come to Him today

He is always there hearing every prayer,
faithful and true.
Walking by His side, in His love we hide,
All the day through.
When you get discouraged, just remember what to do,
REACH OUT TO JESUS, HE'S REACHING OUT TO YOU.
Its finally August, the month where my exams start. Its also the month where my holidays start too. Well, i think i've got three major papers to study for, so i better start studying. Waiting for cutey to reply me whether we are studying together. Hope we are cos i really need some time to focus on my studies.

I just chionged finished my OTBS front-end design, i was in distraught when my thumbdrive went crazy after a long day out with Nuraini teaching and guiding me step by step. I could not access the files which Nuraini and i had been working on during the afternoon at The Coffee Bean! FREAKING TECHNOLOGIES NOWADAYS.

I really honestly appreciate her help, really thought me some lessons on designing things. Guess you learn new things everyday. Anyways, dinner with baby at century square food court was sumptuous. Spent like a bomb there on my meal, but i loved it. We entered 'miz 29' which is the similar shop to the one at queensway, saw a really really nice shoe, inf fact 2 pairs, and a nice 'dickies' bag. So wanna get it, but i am saving up for the trip. I wish that i had a job those whom i know in the BIT cohort. I just wonder how they manage their time so effectively, and perhaps efficiently. Oh wells, i might as well wait for Rip's project at sentosa to commence, and i'll me having some form of income. Yeahs!

Got an offer from 'tuition agency' still contemplating whether to teach the boy, cos i am afraid i might not show the results within 2 months till PSLE. Baby told me not to take the kid, but i am having two thoughts abt it. Maybe i should just focus on my upcoming exams, but then what would i be doing after August ends? I was kinda thinking for the long run, which is why i am having two thoughts.

I have yet to prepare this week's cep's lesson, cos i am chairing the cep singspiration this coming sunday, and i have not sat down to commune with God. Sighs! Would i be able to conquer sin one day>? I doubt, but still i am not giving up. I pray that God would be with me through the rest of the week as i prepare my soul for his service on Sunday.

Anyways, i did not managed to copy marketing notes on monday, which explains why i am not doing my marketing tutorial now, which i normally do. Sighs, i think marketing is a crazy subject with lots of content to memorize. I hope i am able to cope with these three major modules left. OHHH, i still need to find 5 articles which relates to any law topics which i have learnt. Sighs, so much work to do, but so little time.

Kannan is coming out on friday, and asked me whether i wanted to go and ton over in school for the BSC camp, which i really wanna, but i gotta start studying. Well, i hope he understands when i break to him the bad news. Another week goes by with me not meeting him. Sorry bro, but i still love you!

I feel totally lost with Sam nowadays. Thats prob cos we don't even meet up, but when he is free, i am not, and when i am free, he always has his busy appointments, and playing poker, spending time with Denise, shopping in town, etc. I just hope that we'll be able to catch up with one another asap. Hope he's able to understand our current situation.

My best friend in sch has finally found 'love' and is attached to it. As so it goes, love is a fast disease to catch. Hope he is happy with her, and that they would discover great characteristics within each other. HMM, i still wonder what SX is up to with jessie. My mind tells me one thing, but my instincts tell me another. Which one should i trust? Jessie seems like a person whom i can befriend with. Well, hopefully i can find some link.

Jocelyn, my neighbour has finally moved in and i am wanting to enter her house to view the interior design. Hope her parents do not have the wrong impression of me entering her house when i do. Although i must say that her mom looks kinda stern, but her daughter turned up so bubbly and cheerful! Hope to get to know jocelyn more!

I would thank this anonymous person who gave me an appreciation card which she wrote, thanking me for being a person whom she could befriend and trust. Well, i am touched that she treasured our friendship! Chilling or 'le pak' in malay, with malia on wednessday was great. I got to know that she doesn't find affik hot anymore, can call me slow cos i seldom read other ppl's blog! So if u are reading this post, then you should be more like me, and stop reading other people's blog. Hahas!!! Just kidding!!! =)

Anyways, my 8th month anniversary with my baby was a couple of days, back, and yes she did surprise me with a very very lovely present, and i really treasure it, to the extent that i don't wanna use it. But i know that she wants me to use it, if not her efforts would have gone to waste. Well, i shall use it sparingly BABY! Thank you for the gift, and i feel so bad not giving you anything except more of my heart to you, something not tangible but long lasting. Hope u enjoyed to movie, though u seemed pretty cold and freaked out at some scenes. Smiles baby! THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN! =))

Wondering why i am up so late, thats cos i was out just now and i had a can of coke instead of coffee, and abel told me that coke contained more caffeine than a cup of standard coffee from a coffee shop. True enough, i am still up since coming back and i have not yawned once ever since. I was also doing my otbs as mentioned earlier, and i must say that i am grateful that i managed to complete it in time, if not SX and Cher Haur would be furiously mad at me. Phew! Gotta do otbs tmr and Saturday, I wonder where am i gonna find the time and energy to prepare for Sunday. Sighs!

I gotta start managing my time, and i gotta start remembering things, as i have realised, my late nights has affected my memory tremendously and i think my mom was right to nag at me when i was young, to sleep early. Alrights, until the next post.....
Countless number of people have been asking me to write a post, but i keep on procrastinating because i have just so much to write about, but so little time to dwell on them.

For those who have commented that my previous posts' have been super long winded, and draggy, u all just have to bare with it, cos that's just me. I am the sort who writes darn lots of shit cos i dun bother to do a post daily.

Loads of things has happened since my original last post, which was like when dinosaurs were still around. Anyways, i stress on original post because some of the recent post published are actually not the real James.

-Argh, just got interrupted by the monkey lover!

Anyways, both my Best Friend and close buddy are in army, and i am not too sure who to hang out with nowadays. Abel?? But they guy is going in next year, and it would only make me more depressed when he leaves. Is my close tennis buddy gonna be able to sort out his personal problems? Or am i gonna be left with no one even to hang out in sch? Malia, is sometimes quite different from her usual self which makes me feel uncomfortable at times. What about PY>>>? HMM....

Kannan has like gone through the worst possible kinda relationship with his girl, and i think that he does need a rebound girl temporarily before he can move on, but who is gonna see him and understand the man? I just hope that its gonna be someone sweet and one who won't break his heart ever again. Honestly, if u ask me, i think his previous girl deserves a hell of a shelling, and the guy she went for instead of my bro ought to be fucked inside out. BUT, i sat down and think, why should all these things matter to me? I am not gonna be involved because love is blind and it can be a painful experience for many. Friends come and go, but those who are close to you remain forever true and faithful! "BRO, I HOPE YOU GET OVER THIS WHEN YOU ARE IN BMT, COS WHEN YOU ARE OUT AND FINALLY GET YOUR POSTING, I HOPE THAT YOU HAVE PROBABLY GOTTEN OVER THIS MATTER AND MOVE ON WITH LIVE, AND HAVING LOVE AS A SECOND PRIORITY." TAKE CARE!

Samuel is caught in between his relationship with the girl he loves so much that he is willing to give up his relationship. Initially i told him to follow his heart, but a couple of weeks back, he asked me whether he should follow his mind or follow his heart still? Can your heart lead you towards a wrong path? Or is it your mind that is telling you that your heart is leading you towards a wrong path?? Lasting relationships need a mediator, and there is none who is better that God. Thus i conclude that i do not regret breaking up with my ex-girlfriend.

I have had a mixture of emotions and feelings over the past 3 weeks. I had met up twice with my ex-girlfriend over the past week, stayed up an entire night with no sleep editing OB project, rushed like a panicked chicken to help Han Lin and Hizzam for Kryston's surprise birthday celebration, skipped school cos the weather was too nice to stay in bed and ended up being called by my care person, but the happiest moment was when my team managed to win Champions the BIT Captain's ball competition. Yeah! I would say it was a team effort and everyone gave their best! =)

Meeting up with my ex, and watching a movie with her was interesting. I got to catch up on a few things! I am happy for her for being able to move on with her new found serious boyfriend Han Wei, who is also a christian! I was shocked to hear that sentence come out from her mouth. I think that its a good thing to know that people have matured over time and that they no longer see you as the same person as before. I think things between me and Natalie are different because she thinks that i am egoistic and not myself when i am around her. She thinks i am too cautious of her, or at least she thinks i have changed in my character and behavior. Well, i must admit, people do change, and i am not an exception. I think i have become a better person after knowing Jerlynn who has not only brought me lots of laughter, but also showed me the real meaning of caring and showing love towards someone.

-Banana, the roller coaster ride is going to be a long and bumpy one, but together, we would pull through!-

To sum things up about Natalie, i think i just have to start afresh to know her new self. I cannot take for granted of what i used to know about her because some of those facts are long gone with the wind!

I am so glad that many turned up for Kryston's bday party, but i was super tired and drained out when we were tonning at my neighbourhood park, and i think i was a lil tipsy. Hahas, good thing was that there were sober people around to knock some sense back into me when i was lying on the ground. I think getting to know Lin and Zam was a great experience. Even Meida was different from what i perceived their clique to be. Perception over took me and i am sorry for thinking wrongly about them. Good to know that they are friendly people to talk to and mix around with. Cheers to a successful BBQ! I hope Kryston was happy to know that her bf was there to surprise her too!

I am looking forward to the ZEE"S outing to Malaysia, and also looking forward to working with Rip on his various upcoming projects together with the Zee people. I think that lots of effort and commitment is needed for such a large scale of events. Hope that my schedule would permit such opportunities. I am also looking forward to tomorrow cos its our 8th month celebration with HER and i would like to spend some time together with her, cos its been a long time since we've met up. Baby if u are reading this, do surprise me with something!!! HAHAS!

Here comes the sad part of my current life. I am desperately struggling with my course BIT, esp with OTBS. Designing the freaking front end of the page is drastically bad enough, plus next semester brings out whole new modules, which only get tougher and tougher, and with MAF as my elective, i am not too sure what windows are left open for me. I am praying hard that God might show me a light at the end of my dark weary tunnel. I am also having difficulty saving up, partially because i'm in a relationship, and also because i think i am not getting sufficient money for my allowance. Well, can't ask for an increase too soon, so i'll just have to work to fund my own life. Better start early than late. Lastly, end of semester exams are coming and i am terribly worried. I would like to put aside all my other commitments and just sit down day in and night to mugg my ass off for these upcoming papers cos i need a good gpa record to excel further beyond polytechnic. I hope for better lecturers and tutors next semester too, cos my statistic's teacher is BAD! Not used to his teaching style and method and i can't really understand his lectures.

Alright, i think i shall better be heading to do my statistic tutorial now. Probably not sleeping the night again. Nights baby, and sorry for not being able to talk over the phone cos i was BLOGGING! (not dota-ing, nor watching movies) Cya on tuesday, and pls confirm with me your plans! <3


SCREAMMMM