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citycab sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks.
Its been more than a month since my last blog post. To those readers, hope you can differentiate the original writer of this blog! HAHAS!

Anyways, lots of emotions and feelings have come and gone within me, and lots of situations have affected me, both positively or negatively. I have learnt that persevering is a very difficult thing to do, well, at least for me, probably cos i am a person with not much patience, but i hope that Jerlynn would be able to teach me to persevere together through our problems and trials. Baby and I have been rather alright, learning more and more of each other as each day goes by, yearning to hug each, and giving more and more into our relationship, hoping that it develops and grows, but no relationship is complete without GOD as the centre of it all. Thats the main focus i have told baby, and i hope that we'll both work to becoming better Christians and vessels of God.

Sam is now with Denise, and i am really glad and happy that my best friend has finally settled down to his girl, probably the girl he might end up marrying and spending the rest of his life to, if all things work out, he'll be on that route to marrying her. Every relationship would have problems and trials that might test a couple, but its is only through these testings where we learn to love and care for each other more, and its through these problems that bond a couple closer together.
After entering army about a month plus ago, Sam has changed in his attitude and character, I see his change through his speech and the way he is around with denise, and these changes maybe for the better. I am glad that my best friend has finally settled down with a girl that for once I would agree suits him, fits his character. But still troubles prevail for the both of them as Sam fears that his Pilot career might affect his relationship with denise, or the very fact of him goin overseas to pursue his univeristy degree in Business might affect his relationship too. We've spoke a couple of days back and i told him to follow his heart and do what he think is right, not what others would think likewise. Well, i wish that all works out well between him and denise.

" A calm sea does not mean sailors are good."

Kannan is somewhat together with Nicole and is very happy! Yesterday was his official last day being a TP student cos he graduated yesterday afternoon. 3 Cheers for the man, who is entering army soon too. Seems like all my friends are entering the army soon, the place where boys become man! I hope that the last few days my bro has as a civilian would be an enjoyable, days where he would remember and think of when he's bored inside camp, or whenever he's unable to sleep. Lots of things have gone through between Edison, Nicole, Nicole's mom and my bro, but i hope that love would shine through to nicole's mom, letting her know that Kannan really loves and treasures nicole, if i would say more than edison. I also would hope that nicole would be willing to accept kannan for who he is and that the both of them would work their differences out, and be together.

Enough of the relationship thingy! I LOST MY IDENTITY CARD! Can you believe it??? I somehow lost my pink card without even knowing it. I only realised it when the ZEE"S and i went to clarke quay to drink and i was stunt when i realised that it wasn't inside my wallet. BBBBUUUTTT, a couple of days ago, when i wanted to take my dad's IC to sign up for a credit card, i realised that my IC was sitting nicely inside his wallet! I was like WTF man! My father indirectly stole my IC from me, and he did not even bother to inform or alert me that he took it. Believe it or not, i actually went to make a police report with JJ and Baby at marine parade police post! Can't comprehend it man!

Next issue on my mind, would be the financial issues that i am facing. Believe it or not my allowance has been like insufficient for me to save and to continue my normal lifestyle, so i decided to change my spending by limiting it, instead of asking my parents for an increase because of their current given situation. I really want an increase but my morals are telling me not to ask for one. Struggling is one thing, surviving is another thing....i hope that i with the financial planning which i came up with, would enable me to save up cash for future uses!

School is in and its soon till the mid-semester tests arrive. In fact, next week is already the last week of school, and there will be a one week break for us to mug our asses off before we embark on our papers. I am praying and hoping that i would be able to do better this entire year 2. Hope my gpa would get pushed up, so that i would be able to prove to my parents that i am capable of my own independence! Frens in sch are still there, but most of us have been seperated into diff classes, and some people have changed....not gonna say names but one clear example would be one of my closes buddies in sch, my tennis bro! Sad to say but i felt hurt when he outrightly turned away, and its not only me who is experiencing this act in sch. I feel that people change, but one'e surroundings play a more important role, especially when it comes to cliques. Oh wells, hope he is able to see things from a broader prospective. SPICE! =(

Thats all my body, mind and soul can take, hope its more lasting the next time round!
i'm sorry that i've haven't been feeling that warm towards you but those words i told you today, i really meant it.

I LOVE YOU.
yo brother. your friend kannan is throwing a tantrum now because he is not mentioned in your blog so you oughta do something about it yo.
oh my oh my. i'm nodding to sleep already, but i just want to mention this little comfort that has been in my mind all day! (: those pecks you left on my head and that hug, was all i needed to make my day!

hahaha! i'm just so easily satisfied, MOST OF THE TIME! :D

i haven't heard from you being so happy, having that uplift in your voice the first call i had in the morning, AND I'M SO HAPPY TOO! it's been a long time since i hear your chirpy voice! :DD

i love it. GOODNIGHT! *LOVES.
hahaha i'm quite dumb to actually think that talking to random people in msn helps my mood to get better. rmbr i asked you that qns on the phone, if you had ever told your parents a 'sorry' when you know that you've done wrong and that you actually ask for their forgiveness?
i know i was wrong for using that tone of voice to talk to my mummy when all she did was ask me to go shower. as much as i am sorry, i cannot bring myself to say a word of sorry but yet all i am doing now is locking myself up in the room and typing this blog post. who says the girls dont have the ego? not me for sure.

a day just went by and this day sure went by in the blink of an eye. myabe that's because i was kept busy with my ssm lessons! hahhah. but do you know how much i'm suffering right now? yes it's only been a day. A DAY, but i feel worse. it's either that i'll die of anticipation or i'll die of longing. it isn't your fault and you din do anything wrong. but on my part, i was just waiting and checking my phone every two minutes to see if you've texted me of having the title of XX missed calls popping up on the screen on my phone. be it 7 missed calls or just 1, my heart would have felt at ease.

resting my eyes with the music playing in my ears, i gradually fell asleep. but the naggings shoved me back to reality, to that current time of 00:15am. unknowingly, i rushed to my bed, to check my phone for the billionth time, and there it was, YOUR CALL.

i wanted to scream into the phone that i missed you and i am still missing you but all that came out were squeaks of ums, yes and nos. i was practically shaking with tears rollling down, trying to muffle my voice that was thick with emotions, trying hard not to make you worried about me about the pact that we had-- temporarily soften down, quieten down whilst we spend more time with our family and other friends that are around us. but the truth is, i was already regretting my decision of a yes.

the reason(s) i agreed to it
- i didn't want you to start thinking about all the stuff all over again and planning, devising of another method how do we go about doing it. that at least now you will be able to FOC- Focus on Christ and your work you have piling on your table together with all your friendships and relationships with your boyfriends and girls.
- i think that idea that you came our with would really help that is, if i went along and co-operate.

and so, i'm gna cry out loud now in the shower.