Friday, December 28, 2007 l
Another day which starts with me feeling ANGRY, but after this post, i should have most probably cooled down. WHY AM I ANGRY???
I went to J-Zee's house last night at around 8plus, to hang out, and eventually stay over to play Mahjong till the next morning with a couple of frens from the ZEE Organisation. I was there the earliest as HM had CYA and WD was in town doing his photography stuff, so they could not make it earlier. HM came over after her CYA which was about 11plus, and WD met the 3 of us at Simpang Bedok, where we went for supper. When HM came, the 3 of us started playing a couple of card games, and soon headed out to Simpang Bedok to meet WD and have our supper. Supper was great, though the service sucked and HM was rather pissed at the fact that i chose to sit at the smoking area, thinking that there would be less people smoking, based on past experience with Teck Wee, there weren't as many ppl smoking as this morning at about 1 plus. So basically, she was covering her nose as if it was going to sprint away anytime soon, or she was fanning herself with fresh air, to prevent herself from choking from the cigarette smoke. After supper, we walked backed and along the way back to JJ house, we saw a terror dog, it had a chocker chain on it, together with a metal muffler over his mouth. I think it was a Pit Bull, a really fierce one, cos it growled at us and stopped to look at us as we passed it. Thank goodness it was being walked by his master, if not we would have all been injured by IT!
When we went back to JJ's house, HM gave WD her Psycho video and immediately WD got down to editing the video, he was really helpful and kind in helping her edit her video which is due when sch starts, despite his fatigue and tiredness, he continued to do the editing. Initially i thought that everything would be over by 4am, and we could like proceed with our initial plan of playing mahjong, but the editing did not end till 7am. I some how or rather fell asleep and was soon awaken by the irritating sounds coming from the replays of the video editing, and when i woke up and found out that he still had a long way to go, i was starting to get mad, but i somehow knew i could not show it or let my anger out on anyone there, cos i knew that the editing was necessary, if not HM would be in trouble when sch starts as that would be the deadline, and she most probably would get a bad grade, which is something not anyone wants in poly, so i just kept quiet, until a point i could not take it anymore, plus the constant irritating noise, i just typed out a message, and saved it in my phone and asked HM to view it.
I said: " I am angry cos we did not even do anything except edit your video. "
Her reply was: " Yes i know your pissed. But weidong is too busy and i think its like e only time he can make it. And we can't really play without him. And aiya. I don't know."
From her reply, i felt as if she wanted to say something but could not and probably did not know what to say or do to make me feel better in anyway, so from that moment onwards, i was feeling both emo and angry. When all the editing was over, i wanted to stay till 10 plus with JJ and play Playstation 2, cos that was what we both talked about on the phone, but the rest wanted to leave, all had plans during the later part of the day, except for james, who is meeting his SAS grp in sch at 3.30pm-4pm for meeting. WD had an interview at The Candy Empire, and HM had to go meet Kaixuan for project and later go out with her together with Siqi or something like that. Initially i thought that HM was not intending to go out with Kaixuan cos i heard her wanting to tell KX that she was tired and probably wanted to go home and rest, and when i heard that, i felt very disappointed with her, cos she eagerly and enthusiastically agreed with kaixuan that she would go out with her to get Don's present and probably have a all girls outing. Well, whether or not she is still meeting up with KX and going out with her after project meeting, i am not really bothered cos of the simple fact, I AM STILL PISSED!
I saw her off at Tanah Merah Mrt and she seemed a little moody, so i told her not to worry about me as i did not expect her to do anything about the situation. She soon text me: " You are mad. I'm not in a very happy mood either."
I continued the conversation and soon found out that she was moody cos she did not really know what i wanted from her and all the stuff of WD helping her, etc etc etc....!!!! If she was an ordinary friend, i think i would have nagged continuously at the simple fact that all this can editing could have been done earlier, but i did not react that way, cos i knew it was going to make matters worse for everyone. Like i told her, i did not expect anything from her, but if she could like said a sorry, or i will make it up to you would at least make me feel less angry and disappointed at that present moment. But i heard nothing except her laugh and a few orhs'. On the journey back home, i knew she was feeling rather sad and depressed cos she probably felt that i had accused her of something she could not really do to make things better, maybe a little, but i honestly think and feel that she should just take me as being petty and forget matters, but this girl is different. She knows that there is always a hidden agenda and motive behind every question i ask. Well, i think that there is always a lesson to learn, and for me i learn most when i am emo, so i think there is a great lesson for me to learn.
LESSON LEARNT: NEVER EXPECT ANYTHING IN ANY GIVEN SCENARIO OR SITUATION, COS WHEN YOU RECEIVE SOMETHING UNEXPECTED, YOU FEEL A SENSE OF GLADNESS AND AFFECTION FROM THE PERSON.
BTW, one true reason why i asked you whether you could remember what you wanted to get for me from Junction 8 was partly to test your memory, but more rather to see whether you are a person who is responsive to hint and clues. I don't care and I'm not okay
9:06:00 AM
